Self

The past week has been interesting. In some ways, I am very much embracing old habits again, for better or worse.


Seeing a dad count out what’s left on their WIC restored some perspective to my life. It is also a little absurd, what the hell, they specify down to the “one carton of 1% skim milk left, two loaves of this specific bread”? I believe strongly in letting people pick out their own groceries. Choice empowers.

I need to remember that people are more complex and caring than the usual “my grades! my jobs! my salary!”. I think I need a break from dealing with students in general. Not their fault, of course. They’re like what, 20? Perspective will come in due time.

I suppose seeing that made me feel a little more human again, and that’s how I’m where I am now. hm. A little too large a sum to give freely instead of lend, and I’m not sure of ever getting it back, but there are worse ways of indulging myself. I’m glad that all my experiences with random cash to random strangers has worked out though. I still see them around online or in person, and they’re being pretty decent people, so I have no regrets there.

eh. The other guy donated his kidney to a stranger. What’s 900?


Seems like most people are really stressed right now. Honestly, I’ve been under a little pressure too, until this reset my perspective a little.

But I’m happy that for the most part, I still can focus on the important things. I think I can honestly say that I have set aside research deadlines, homework, and other relatively dumb things, in favor of people when it mattered. So my convictions aren’t compromised yet.

I’ve been thinking more lately about what I look for in people, in general. I used to operate on a nebulous notion of, “I want to be around good people”. This has perhaps burned me a little, and my mood has been particularly fey over the past year and week. Enough that I felt done as a whole with this train of thought.

Despite that, I think I would still like to ultimately be around people that inspire me to believe in a slightly kinder world. I don’t think the big things really matter that much. The small ways that people go about day-to-day life matter more.

Well, we’ll see how my views change as the years continue to pass. For now, I think he is enough reason to believe in people. The modern day Mr. Rogers, huh..


Quick thoughts on privacy again. In some sense, the dual of a surveillance state is one where every citizen has a smartphone. I used to find that prospect terrible, but with recent events, perhaps that isn’t such a bad thing after all.


Final push! In more ways than one.

Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker? Though admittedly, I wish I had a cheerful Kibeth doggo.

Written on November 25, 2019