I haven’t been this sick in a long time.
Or, more accurately, I used to stubbornly refuse to accept that I was sick. Selfish in hindsight (germs for all!), though it was more of a “can go see doctor? can go work lo” attitude.
Sitting at home and staring out of the window.
I’ve been sipping ginger tea, which has been bringing back some memories.
The first time I saw ginger tea was in high school. I’d been visibly sick for a while, though I liked to think of myself as high-functioning; at the very least, functioning enough to take the day’s math quiz on plotting functions. Halfway through the quiz, teacher stops by my table and gives me a HUGE bag of ginger tea sachets. At that point, I liked her teaching, but didn’t know her that well.
That was probably the first time that I lost my composure in high school for real. Not outwardly, but I forgot half of the question (and was suitably ribbed about that when the grades came back, since I ended up politely rejecting the tea).
We talk to many people, but talk with very few. That was when I started talking with her, rather than to her, and that’s been one of my better life decisions thus far. Words are inadequate, so I stop here.
That windowsill is irreplaceable to me. I dislike accepting things. But everything there I accepted freely, at some point; people worth returning for. One has passed and another has effectively passed as well, but that’s life.
Enamoured with APL recently because of that 750-line compiler again. Keep your code short and disposable; the principles and high-level architecture can stay, but you shouldn’t feel obliged to keep any particular realization of it.
That’s not too bad a way of going about life. Your core values can stay, but little things like your personality or behavior are flexible.
Some debts cannot be repaid, but paying forward is an option. It looks like I’ll be teaching again in the future, so, perhaps…